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Spirituality and Death: Penelope’s Experience With Her Father

My father Jack McNab was introduced to the concept of learning how to die when he attended my class in Lily Dale on the subject six years before he died. There we discussed The Tibetan Book of the Dead, the Dalai Lama’s views on death, and other traditional perspectives on how to go to the next place. We did several exercises including gathering the gifts of this lifetime and visualizing the process of talking to our body, shutting down and letting go.

Six years later, after he had pneumonia, he found himself functioning somewhat normally but facing the prospect of needing to enter a nursing home. I asked him whether he was prepared to go through more physical rehab, or to let go and go to the next place. He chose the later. I called a hospice nurse, and she came and interviewed him, my sister and me.

spirituality at the end of lifeAfter she left he asked, “Am I dying?” I answered, “No.” His heart and lungs were doing pretty well for 97, but we wanted everything to be in place and to provide morphine so that he could die easily when he was ready. I asked him if there was anything else he wanted to do or anybody else he wanted to see, and he said no. Then I told him that when he was ready, perhaps he could shut down his body like the Native American elders.

Although he had dressed himself and walked with the help of a walker to lunch, after the hospice nurse left and he had visited with my sister, he climbed into bed and never got up again. The following day we thought we heard him mumbling names of people like his sister who had died. As a spirit medium the only spirit I sensed was his sister, who cracked a joke and said she’d stay with him now and on the other side. From 7:00 p.m. until 2:00 a.m., although his hearing aids were out, I told him that if he wanted to stay on earth he should stay inside his body where he couldn’t hear me without hearing aids. If he wanted his consciousness to hear me, he should expand his consciousness beyond his body.

Then I coached him much as in the class we had done together, recalling for him what he had told me of his life’s memories, then starting with his feet thanked all the parts of his body for their many years of service, and said they could stop now. At 2:00 a.m. his breathing became very ragged, and I called the nurse to check on him. They found that all of his bodily functions were normal once they gave him a nebulizer breathing treatment.

We started the process over again of letting go until 7:00 a.m. when my sister arrived. When Charlie and I returned at 1:00 p.m. the nurse and my sister said that he was dying, but that it could take a long time. When Charlie and I entered the room, he sat up, opened his eyes, and squeezed each of our hands. Charlie said he had to drive home to Gettysburg (from Erie, PA) and would return the next weekend, but first he would take a nap until 3:00 p.m. Pop died exactly at 3:00 p.m.

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